Pain Central

Tommie Lee
Aug 1, 2014
4 min read

(AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)

Last year the Central Division was the top shelf of the NHL. There is no room for debate in that statement. If you disagree, then this conversation is already over.

Ha, some would still dare to say. Then why did LA, a team from the Pacific, win The Cup? Answer me that, Blackhawks-Boy.

Simple. Consider a division filled with great teams (and Winnipeg) beating the snot out of each other for 82 games. They then follow that regular season with playoff rounds featuring enough violence and bloodshed to have been directed by Quentin Tarantino. That was the Central Division last year. Kill Central Volumes one and two. Just add Uma Thurman.

By contrast, the Pacific featured two great teams, another one that was pretty decent in San Jose, and then a deep chasm of despair that stretched from western Canada all the way to Phoenix. The Pacific is the hopeless doldrums of the vast Western Hockey Ocean, devoid of sustainable winds and currents for half the ships that sail her. A place where even Buffalo or the Isles could pick up a couple of extra wins here and there. Okay. Maybe not Buffalo.

Next year, it gets even uglier here in the Central.

Consider this: The Central, great as it was, got even better in Free Agency.

The Blackhawks made only one move, shaking off Michal Handzus (age 77) and adding Stanley Cup runner up Brad Richards. I continue to run hot and cold on that move, but have to admit it was an upgrade. I just wonder how the chemistry will come together. I look forward to finding out.

Let’s assume Chicago lives up to those Top-Seed expectations all the analysts have for them, and skate into the postseason with the brash swagger of an amped-up pirate crew (this also assumes we improve in the Power Play and Penalty Kill departments). The playoff format demands that our Central Division send two, three, or four additional teams to the playoffs. The Central sent five teams last year because Vancouver fell apart like a cheap toy and allowed our division to be greedy and snag both Wild Card spots.

Who would those teams be, fighting over spots 2-5 in the Central? St. Louis has to remain the other favorite. They lost Vlad Sobotka (and what a shame that is for Chicago fans) but picked up Paul Stastny, fresh off his killer 60-point year in Colorado. In essence, they took care of the one need they really had, and helped weaken one of their biggest opponents. For Chicago fans, seeing Stastny skating with that music note on his chest is going to suck, given how good the Blues already were before they signed him.

Ah yes. The Avalanche, Stastny’s former home. They won the division and winning big games on a shoestring. Everyone was surprised at how great Colorado was last year. No one will be surprised that they aren’t as good next year, except perhaps their fan base. They bought one great year and they played it out. A very different team will be on the ice at Denver’s Pepsi Center next season. That was true even before Cory Sarich was injured in a bicycle vs. car accident this month.

That leaves Dallas and Minnesota, as it did last year. Nashville was in the conversation last spring, and may be again next season, but they lack the legs. The Stars will drape their ugly jerseys on the backs of Ales “Czech, Please” Hemsky and of course Jason Spezza. With those moves Dallas made a quantum leap forward, and it will be obvious. The Wild are only slightly better than the Predators. Minnesota made plenty of noise last season with 43 wins…only 3 less than Chicago…but they have bigger question marks in their end of the ice than the Blues, Stars, and Hawks do. Still…the Wild know how to wear you out, and they will do that again next year. They will give the division fits, especially if they find themselves in a dogfight with Dallas again.

These are all solid teams that just flat do not like one another, and all play brutal, physical hockey every time the puck drops in a division game.

Oh yeah…I almost forgot. The Jets are in the division, too. And aren’t they just adorable? They’re the Central’s Cousin Oliver…brought in at the end of the line for comic relief, but ultimately just following a bad script and having little lasting impact.

Everyone else bulked up in the division. A tough year lies in wait. Yes, life in the Central Division is hard. So now we just have to wonder if that life will wear down a potential Cup winner from the Central again next year. Sadly, the smart money may be on a big fat YES. The Pacific didn’t improve nearly as much as the Central did.

Hope, however, springs eternal.

Go Hawks.